3. Of a person: that engages in an activity or occupation by night; preferring to be active at night.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Tell Life to F*cK Off
Monday, September 28, 2009I think, I’m way over my head. This semester, I signed up for a full course load and it feels like quicksand. I had a feeling it was going to be a bad idea, and yet, here I am looking at my timetable in misery. Repeatedly, I find myself asking “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, MIKHAELA??? ARE YOU INSANE???”. I’m so overwhelmed right now. It feels like drowning from the inside. I know I lack proper time management skills and constantly succumbing to lazy moments infront of the television, searching for something to take my mind of this unwanted feeling of drowning from the inside.
I hate having to work part-time.
I wish can take back that moment when I decided that working part-time, alongside attending school, is the best thing to do. I was naive and impulsive. I wanted to earn money so I can buy new clothes, gadgets, etc. Now, I’m here in a ditch. I need the money cause I’m afraid of not having it. Working, is an addiction in some ways. You get addicted to the paycheque, although not so much to the work itself. It’s tiring and time-consuming. And if I could take back that decision I made six years ago, I would.
But I can’t now. I have bills to pay and books to buy. Working erases that anxiety of not having money in your pocket when you need it. It allows you to have that sense of comfort despite the hard effort needed to attain some monetary funds. Money makes the world go round and I’m one of those people sitting inside the carousel. Harsh fact but true. As the old cliche goes, truth always hurts.
I feel like I’m suffocating in my room— surrounded by things to do, papers to write and dreading the idea of going to work when I should be at home studying instead. Well, no pain, no gain, right? For the next few months, coffee and smokes will be my new bestfriends. It’s a bad habit, I know. But they keep me sane and composed. If I’m going to self-analyze, I know it’s a psychological thing, a form of digression or mental comfort. But heck, like I said, I’m way over my head, so bad habit or not, I’ll take my chances. I mean, it’s still not as bad as coke or chronic, right? And yes, this is me justifying it to myself.
So anyway, no quote for this entry. Nor my usual ending. I’m just tired… exhausted to the bone and I just wanted to write something to ease my mind.
On some random thought: Frodo and Sam = Brokeback Mordor. And if I were Legolas, I’d probably shoot them just to knock it off.
Previous Comments
Working, is an addiction in some ways. You get addicted to the paycheque, although not so much to the work itself. — trulaloo!
relax..
have a break, have a kitkat.
hehehe. smile naman jan! 
))
awh, you have my validation
and LOL, OMG I just sat here laughing at that paper for like 5 minutes. Is it weird that I found it well written?
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Posted by aude.sapere at October 8, 2009, 11:58 am